Thursday, November 15, 2012

Letter to Mom #3

Dear Mom,

Modern Family was great last night, and I wished you were watching it with me so we could talk about how awesomely dense Phil is.

I’ve done some cooking and baking lately, and I haven’t been awful. Remember when you’d watch me trying to bake and you’d give me feedback, which I’d promptly reject and get frustrated by? I’d give anything to have you fussing at me in the kitchen again, telling me you know a better way.

We’re approaching serious holiday season, which means my emotional stability will be questionable in the coming weeks. Hopefully it won’t be as bad as last year, but I’m not optimistic.

Dad and Zach are coming over this weekend to chop down some big trees in our backyard. This kind of stuff makes me nervous, but in typical Dad fashion, he told me to pipe down or shut up or something like that.

I watched Parenthood the other night, and one of the characters is fighting breast cancer. She was upset because her mom didn’t come to take care of her. I found myself crying too, because it occurred to me that if someday I’m very sick, I won’t have you nearby. I’m so thankful to still have your mom around – she’s an amazing grandmother and she helped take such good care of you when you were sick.

I hung out at Jim & Angie’s yesterday and spent some time with their boys. Boys plural – there are two of them now! Though they’re not mine, I love them with a completeness that’s usually reserved for very few. It’s reassuring to feel this though; it makes me believe that maybe I do have enough love to have a child of my own someday.

TJ and I are finalizing plans for the next golf outing in your memory. We’re going to do it.

I hope you celebrated your birthday in heaven. I hope you spent it with your dad and Sue, eating pie and gabbing. I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on with both of them.


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